10 Fabulous Uses For Peanut Butter
78Not These Peanuts
Not These Peanuts
THESE PEANUTS!
Have Another Peanut Butter!
Nuts!
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Peanut Butter, Don't Just Eat It, Use It!
The following Peanut Butter information, will not gross you out, as did my dissertation on the 10 Fabulous Uses for Toenail Clippings. I do apologize for that hub, and when you have time, please take a look at my ocean front property I have for sale in Oklahoma.
As a woman of few phobias, I might need to add "Arachibutyrophobia" - which is what people have if they find themselves becoming hysterical when peanut butter sticks to their palate...my exact problem with peanut butter. It finally has a name.. I have Arachibutyrophobia! I knew it! Whew! I thought I was just a hypochondriac.
The Following Peanut Butter Uses and Facts Are Entirely True -But not necessarily believable.
These first scoops of peanut butter didn't make the top ten, but still have great value:
- Use 2 tbls spoons of peanut butter to get the gum out of your arm pit, when your brother puts it there without you feeling it because you are DEAD asleep.
- Use 2 tbls spoons of peanut butter to get the gum out of your hair, for the same reason.
- Adults consume more peanut butter than kids. My question continues to be "Why?"
- The Dutch called peanut goo "pindakaas" which meant "peanut cheese" - because peanut butter had already been trademarked.
Got Any Cheeeese? A cheese sandwich is always a better choice, if you ask me.
Its use as a moisturizer for toes is well known, and you can use your saved toenail clippings to scrape the peanut butter from underneath your toenail that's still attached to your toe. (I do apologize, once again.)
Before we get to the nutty subject below, here's a great peanut butter cookie recipe: Now THAT I can eat!
Ingredients:
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2 cups peanut butter
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2 cups white sugar
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A pinch of salt
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2 teaspoons baking soda
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2 eggs
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1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Procedure:
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Lightly butter a cookie sheet.
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Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C)
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In the bowl, stir peanut butter and sugar together until smooth. Add the eggs, then stir in the vanilla, baking soda and salt.
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With your hands, pick some dough and roll it into a 1-inch ball, then place it on the greased cookie sheet, pushing slightly with a fork as to make a cookie-like shape, leaving criss-cross grooves. Do this until the dough is finished
Bake the cookies for 8-10 minutes, then remove from heat and let them cool for 5-10 minutes. If desired, add powdered sugar while cookies are still warm.
Now, the news all have been waiting for...
10 Fabulous Uses for Peanut Butter
1. The world's largest peanut is 20 feet tall, and it's currently kept in Turner County, Georgia.
I personally do not believe this one and would like to know how they got it out of the ground and what the peanut plant looked like that gave birth to such a nut. I plan on writing to Turner County officials to confirm this fact. Some things you just can't believe.
2. A single acre of peanut crop yields 2860 pounds of peanuts, enough to make 30,000 peanut butter sandwiches.
That, gives me a more clear understanding of "Arachibutyrophobia." Just watching that many people move their jaw and stick their fingers in their mouth to get the sticky mess off the roof of their mouth makes me ill.
Hey, THATS ANOTHER USE FOR TOENAIL CLIPPINGS! See, the list of value for those little things just keeps growing as we travel on our journey seeking knowledge about life.
3. Americans eat 700 million pounds every year (3lbs per person), which could theoretically cover the entire floor of the Grand Canyon.
Now who in the world has nothing else to do but figure that square footage out?? Another one I don't believe but will take their word for it. And, if you already knew that one, I'm entirely worried about you.
4. Peanuts account for 2/3rds of the total snack "nuts" consumption in the USA.
That fact proves byond a shadow of a doubt that we are truly a nation of nuts. I bet the White House is full of peanuts, don't you? I wish we could consume a few of those.
5. America produces about 6% of the world's crop of peanuts. In comparison India and China combined, produce about 70%.
Now, Alabama, Florida, Texas and Oklahoma, account for 80 percent of total U.S. production, but why don't we grow more peanuts as a nation? Do we have to let China beat us in everything?
6. The world's largest peanut butter and jelly sandwich was created November 6th, 1993 in Peanut, Pennsylvania and was 40 ft long. It contained 150lbs of peanut butter and 50lbs of jelly.
Again, those people have more time than I do. What I want to know, is how many people ate it and how long did it take them?
7. The US market for peanut butter amounts to 800 million dollars per year.
Seems smart to increase the acreage for peanuts!
8. 96% of people, when making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, put the peanut butter on before the jelly.
Well, duh! That's a no-brainer. I've made a bunch of sandwiches and never once tried to put the sticky goo on the bread on top of the jelly. My style was peanut butter on one piece of bread and jelly on the other, then smash 'em together. Any 3 year old knows that! In fact, they taught me.
9. An 18oz jar of peanut butter requires 850 peanuts.
Too many peanuts for me to count and I have a better idea for for the little legumes... guess what? This next one I'm sure you did not know.
10. With very high pressure and temperature, peanut butter can be transformed into diamonds (although that's true for pretty much everything containing carbon!).
Can you tell me why in the world aren't we making more of those??? Forget the Cracker Jacks! Give me my diamond from the peanut butter jar!!
Forget shopping at Jared's ....just stick that da...## jar of peanut butter in the pressure cooker, baby! "My Friends" (sorry for the expression, thank McCain!) we could take care of the National Debt and fund solar energy exploration if we just cook the damn peanuts!!
Peanut Butter sandwiches are a total waste of this valuable commodity and time. Diamonds?? Tell me you didn't know that!! If you knew it, and you knew Froggy Went-A-Courtin' dated back to 1611, you are seriously high on my envy list.
I've never been a diamond gal, they've mostly been something I looked at on other people's fingers, but that could change...
I'm starin' at that peanut butter jar in my cabinet in a whole new way. Honey, can we go buy a BIG pressure cooker? Wal-Mart, maybe?
An Extra Peanut Butter Fact - Cool, Unless You're the Horse:
Mr. Ed, the 1960's TV hit about a talking horse...my all time favorite fanatasy, other than Bewitched....I can think of many things I'd like to change by wiggling my nose....
Anyway, Mr. Ed had peanut butter put along his gumline so he'd move his mouth as though he was talking. Poor horse. He was 19 years old and had to endure such indignities. In 1968, he suffered from a broken leg and arthritis, and it is said he was secretly put to sleep. He was such a loved animal, they feared a public outcry. I loved that horse! I still believe he really talked.
Just to check the reality of such an act, I did today, at great personal sacrifice, place peanut butter between my gums and lips, stood in front of the mirror and am pleased to report, I did look like a talking horse.
I am Marisue, and I write.
CommentsLoading...
I absolutely love natural peanut butter that is made out of 100% percent peanuts. Also, I love peanut butter cookies, so this recipe looks like a fun one to try. Thanks for sharing.
Arachibutyrophobia! It's a bit of a tongue twister. Very funny and entertaining hub!
Haha, Marisuewrites, awesome hub, sweetie! I have an awesome PB&J recipe I'd like to share: chunky or creamy peanut butter, strawberry jelly & Nutella. If you've never had Nutella you should look it up, it's a french chocolate hazlenut spread. It's unbelieveably nummy.
I am now convinced you've become completely unhinged...
Oh! You forgot one: For use in foreplay! Slightly warmed and mixed with chocolate. But creamy... NEVER chunky!!!
Nicole, I can't believe it! I make that sometimes (bought the Nutella for Chili Hot Chocolate - see the hub), but I use real strawberries. Too decadent to be legal.
Yum! That cookie recipe sounds awesome! One of my favorite comfort foods is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a glass of cold milk. It calms me right down, no kidding.
File peanut butter up there with the other high omega-6 oily foods. Seems like anything we like to eat is bad for us, right?
My advice for peanut better eaters is to wash it down with fish oil... ;-)
Seriously, if you pop a few capsules of enteric coated fish oil into your mouth, then eat only a couple tablespoons or six... then maybe you might get by with it. Know that eating peanut butter is cheating on any sensible diet. Too many calories, too much total fat, too much omega-6.
Omega-3 stuffed into peanut butter by companies like Smart Balance is arguably more healthy (simply because it has less omega-6, not really due to the ALA omega-3). However, remember that the omega-3 in there is the 18 carbon ALA kind, not 20 carbon EPA or 22 carbon DHA omega-3's that you can actually use. Your body with only be able to convert 5-10% of that 18 carbon ALA alpha-linolenic acid into EPA, and only 0.1-0.5% (practically none at all) into vital DHA. So, while the omega-3's added to some peanut butter may make it less dangerous than the all-omega-6, no-omega-3 natural kind of peanut butter, it really isn't helping you by increasing your levels of usable LONG CHAIN omega-3 EPA and DHA.
So, I try to minimize my peanut butter. And when I eat it, I pop a handfull of enteric coated fish oils into my mouth first.
That's GUILT FREE peanut butter eating... sort of.
Forget the book projects, Marisue. Jump right over to comedy central! You saved the best for last, and I have to say, I can imagine you looking like a talking horse. Reminds me of the time I hit myself over the head with a huge zucchini wondering it it would hurt or not.
Two important uses for PB I'd like to contribute.
Here's the one that won't gross you out: PB is great for removing adhesive residue from those horrible price stickers; use it on ceramics, glass, and metal, but I'd be loathe to try it on paper or fabric or wood.
Here's the use that will gross you out, but you are more than half-way there already with the stuff between lips and gums: Kill the hiccups instantly by placing a huge teaspoon of PB on your palate; let it dissolve slowly. And for God's sake, don't use a toenail paring to scrape it off.
The funny thing is, being a man and therefore prone to thinking of what I am going to say in advance of someone else being through speaking, I confess to reading along wondering if you were going to say anything about the value of peanut butter for making animals look as if they talk, and there it was, at the very end... a triumph to your genius. Mr. Ed. I knew you'd come through, I never should have doubted. It works great on dogs too and equally hilarious. (Oh, and bleh on the toenails still. Yuk. lol.)
Your brain certainly off on some odd, but funny, tangents lately...but, like I said...funny!
Okay, I give up. I'm going to smear some non-omega-3 peanut butter the creamy kind, all over a nice crisp cameo apple cored and sliced with my beautiful little apple thingy.
Then, I'll go to bed!
Level1diet. Your beautiful little apple thingy indeed! Do want to elaborate (or not)?
BTW I was under the impression that PB made with pure unsalted peanuts in a blender was pretty healthy? Perhaps a dash of fish oil in the blender?
Marisue, I wrote a hub about the healthy side of peanuts, a while back. Yours is much better! You should try a peanut butter and marshmallow cream sandwich. Not very healthy, but addictive. Plus, all that marshmallow sticking to your palate will make you forget all about the peanut goo.
Nevada kids love to eat peanut butter and honey sandwiches. Massachusetts kids love peanut butter and Fluff sandwiches. They even serve them in the school cafeterias! Fluff is a spreadable marshmallow product made in Lynn, Ma. I can't keep it in my house for long. The kids scrounge for it. But, it is soooo delicious with peanut butter. I make it with whole grain bread just to pretend that it might be good for them. Teddy All-Natural Peanut Butter is also made here in Everett, Ma. I used to smell roasting peanuts every morning on my way to work. lol
ok
ok
ok
u got me
yes, i can live off peanut butter sandwiches (plain) and coffee indefinitely.
funny, though, here in south africa the "jelly" bit never quite caught on.
it got "introduced to" jam and syrup.
not 4 me, though. i prefer mine with........
cheese.
cool hub !
Marisue, I have to admit, since I've calmed down, that you frightened me away for a couple of days. I saw the picture of those toenails and started to gag!! PLEASE Don't ever do that to me again. But I still love you and Mr. Ed too!
Who knew you could do all those things with peanut butter???
I've been known to go on Peanut Butter binges...
Peanut butter & celery, peanut butter on bread, dipping a piece of chocolate and yelling "You've got chocolate in my Peanut Butter!" before eating it (my nod to the old Reese's commercial), peanut butter and toast (not the same as peanut butter and bread), peanut butter with fluff or jelly or jam...all combinations work great.
But the BEST thing for a peanut butter binge is this...and trust me a HALF a sammich is all it takes because any more and it will drive you into a diabetic coma...
Put one piece of bread in toaster...while it's toasting open peanut butter jar, open bag of nestles semi-sweet chocolate morsels, open jar of fluff. When the toast pops...smear on peanut butter, smear on marshmallow fluff, and sprinkle with semi sweet chocolate and SMUSH it together so it gets melty.
It's NASTY...but kinda good
I've never had peanut butter stick to the roof of my mouth though...I always get that lump in my chest when it adheres to my esophagus that makes you want to scream in pain. :)
Great hub (and a lot less gross than the toe nail one)
Please dont make diamonds out of peanut butter? i dont want to be paying $1000.00 a jar for peanut butter next time i go to the grocery store
You gonna pressure cook peanut butter into daiamonds? good luck let me know if it works
Have you ever tried melted peanut butter drizzled over hot buttered popcorn? Don't tell your brother Marisue, he won't approve of this. This will be our secret!!!
Check out Jacki's Bento Box page, she too is a fan of peanut butter, especially with chocolate. Love your page Dotti!
if I were not dieting (oooohhhh I DID lose 6 pounds in the last week, YESSSSSS!) i would certainly try these recipes...
Yummie, Nutella with peanutbutter and fresh strawberries...
Wondering if I could invent a recipe with peanutbutter, nutella and watermelon? To add to my http://hubpages.com/hub/Calories-in-Watermelon page....
Not sure about the calories though - use it in foreplay to burn the extra calories off later on? ::GRIN::
Here is a great little recipe for ya!! :)
1/8 cup peanut butter
1/8 cup of your favorite jelly
1/8 cup of peanuts
1/8 cup of fresh fruit.
2 cups vanilla ice cream
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mix ingredients together.
Eat! (Share if you like.)
ProCW
Almost forgot...
Great hub and Thumbs up!
"Carter was full of peanuts"...LOL
You're perfectly random. Thanks for using it to make a Hub about peanut butter :)
Great Hub again! Did anyone mention peanut butter and bananas? Best on warm toast so the PB gets a little bit melty.
Questions about the peanut diamonds---how much would you have to "salt" away to get one? would you "blanch" at the price? would the jewelers "skin" you? if you had to jump in a rowboat to go get one, would you have to "row east" them?
OK, I'll quit now. I'm making myself groan!!
Keep the good stuff coming!!
Funny hub, marisuewrites. My late wife used to love peanut butter and cucumber sandwiches. I like the ordinary PB & grape jelly, and I put the PB on one slice and the jelly on the other as you mentioned.
Now peanut butter and cheese together that is a win-win food.
Oh the best use for peanut butter is : slice a banana or apples if you have them in the bottom of a dish and put some peanut butter on the top of that and then sprinkle some chocolate chips on that and microwave it for a minute or until the peanut butter starts to melt!
I don't usually eat the stuff because it makes my stomach upset and woozie but on occasion I will eat some.
I love your hub! Here I thought that I was getting out of the toe naill clippings one and here it is!
LOL
Funny hub! Thanks I like Peanut Butter more as an adult than I did as a child. Not sure why. Maybe I had too much of it as a child
lol, Very fun hub as usual!
I will try some of the suggestions you mentioned, instead of the boring ways i eat it!.....I wont be putting it on my toes! lol
I love it! Another funny hub, which made my mouth water (umm, except for the bit about toenail clippings!)
And another recipe for us to try, yeah!!
Btw, I'll second (or maybe fourth) the recommendation for Nutella. We get through soooo much of the stuff in our chocolate-loving family...
11. use it to give your non-favorite friend food poisoning.
I almost used the MR. ED has my handle, but didn't.
Are you sure that peanut butter cookie recipe isn't supposed to have flour in it?
I never knew that there were a lot of thing we can do with peanut butter. I love to eat peanut butter. I will try some of your ideas.
T'ain't funny, Mz. Magee! Nothing is more serious than pb. I've been told I'm allergic to pb but withdrawal would be fatal to me. I think your bad experiences are in proportion to the quantity applied. pb has plenty of taste in thin layers; you don't need to apply 1/8" coating to 3/8" bread slice as 3 year olds are want to do.
Also, you should try to be creative in applications. There are many surprisingly good combinations involving pb when applied conservatively: pb & tuna salad (sans pickle) is outstanding for protein loading; pb & sloppy joe sauce makes for exquisite flavor - AND, the pb helps keep the sauce from sliding out of the bun; pb and most condiments other than jelly make great appetizers or hors d'oeuvres - mayonnaise or Miracle Whip!, A1 Sauce, mustard, margarine & butter and, of course, honey, for examples. But absolutely avoid pb & catsup!!! AND TOENAIL CLIPPINGS! :)
I am in awe of your genius here -- BUT I'M OUT OF PEANUT BUTTER and now will have to go to the store in the rain because i'm jonesin' for some PBnJ. . .
Fun and informative look at peanuts and peanut butter! Keep hubbing!
I switched to natural peanut butter about 3 years ago. absolutely love it. More consistency and more taste. I also like cooking and baking with it much better. Great Hub! I linked your Hub to mine. I think others will enjoy it!
Lisa



















































sixtyorso 3 years ago
The only peanut in the white house was Jimmy Carter. Seriously Marisue you need sleep or treatment or both (LOL). I see the toenail thing crept into this hub too.
I think Tom should do hub on the the healthy side of peanuts. Incidently did yu know that the peanut is not a nut but a legume (that is a bean).
Great funny hub.