Home Atmosphere, Part 2: Molasses In the Dryer; Cat's In The Fridge

Organizing the Home, Getting Ready for Chaos

Introduction: Much of our life with our little ones was a laugh a minute. You've got to admit that molasses in the dryer and the cat in the fridge make clothes on the floor seem easier to accept. I've read all the professional hype about leaving the messy kids room alone, it's THEIR space. Wrong, I say. I fully support getting professional advice where possible, but take it under advisement.

I wonder how many kids they've raised and how many things they've had to try to find when digging through a mess.

Let's be practical for a moment. I say, "Don't over do it, but take a look around. It's simple. I'm the parent, they're the child. That makes me boss."

Let me first explain that all my friends would agree that I'm not a neat freak and spend a fair amount of time looking for things I can't find. However, parents reserve the right to say, "Do as I say, not as I do" at least some of the time.

I never met a messy room that when clean, didn't make everyone feel better. Happy, contented people just don't live in chaos. To realize the importance of order, you only need to hear a teen screaming "I can't find my Mudd, (or whatever the brand) jeans! I'm not going to school in these" punctuated by slamming doors and a few curse words. Great way to start the day.

Behavior Challenges

Wait, as a mom, I didn't live in a perfect environment, either. Let me explain about the molasses and the dryer and the cat and the fridge. Again, remember that I'm coming from a household that after 18 years of foster parenting, had contained 250+ children. Some sleepover, right?

Can't blame the dryer and fridge escapade on the foster kids this time, though. No, these little acts of "house crime" were committed by my own 2 and 3 year olds.

Meet D, son 2 and C, son 3. (I don't yet have their permission to use their real names....they say "MOOOOOM!" They think I'm much more famous than I am and everyone in America will read this.)

What one couldn't think of, the other one could and did. They were great partners. For a few years, I lived in a zoo. This particular day, while the "monkeys" were swinging from trees, I was writing a speech for a college class. I had removed what I had determined to be dangerous items from their reach and I was snuggled down with my notes and books, looking up now and then at the little ones scooting about at my feet.

Until suddenly, I realized they weren't. At my feet, I mean. And, it was much too quiet. Then I heard this little stifled "uh o."

I found them in the laundry room with the dryer door open and something sticky and brown dripping from the top of inside the dryer drum. I had a nice gooey mess and when I looked at their wide eyes, and frozen little bodies, well. I just couldn't get mad. Son 2 said, "Well, I was hungry and I couldn't reach the little box."

There, I knew my smart boy had a reason. He had seen his dad warm molasses up in the microwave and mix it with peanut butter. He knew the dryer got hot, so when he couldn't reach the microwave, he put the jar of molasses in the dryer, and the rest is history. Makes perfect sense if you're a 3 year old wanting a snack.

Restitution

Involving children in making restitution is critical to the development of their understanding of cause and effect. This doesn't have to be unpleasant for the child or parent. I think helping his dad take the dryer apart and load it onto the truck for a trip to the car wash was probably the most fun son 2 had experienced in his life.

For us, raising those two little ones was a strange mixture of frustration and laughter, and of course, joy. Did I say that?

Humor

What about the Cat in the Fridge, you say? Well, it was a hot day, and she needed to cool off, they thought. Thankfully, her stay in the cool, dark room was brief and she seemed no worse for the wear; though I was a bit startled when I opened the door to find her sitting by the milk.

But, I digress.

If you're suffering from chaotic mornings of getting kids up, ready for school, and in the car amid yelling, tears, arguments, bad moods, read on. This is one of my "it's the atmosphere" discussions. Pause for a moment and picture a romantic dinner with your sweetie. Or, envision a special gathering with friends in your home.

How much fun would either of these be if you had to step over toys, move the cat litter box away from the table, and eat or sit among books and papers on the table or couch?

Clutter Effects Moods

We all have bad days. But daily clutter in the home or kid's bedroom does not a happy home make. Research shows that clutter and disorganized homes normally contain people who sleep too much, are irritable, sad and mad, or are hyper, or have sluggish metabolisms, and exhibit many other symptoms of depression. At the very least, agree with me that it's no fun looking for things or being frustrated and arriving late for events you need to attend.

So, look around you with clear eyes and create an atmosphere as close to bare and beautiful as you dare. I say "bare" because most of us won't. If you set "clear it off" as a goal, and picture "bare," you'll get close to what works.

Clean first, organize second, work on pretty last. When I didn't have the money to "buy pretty" I found that color and plants worked great. Clean cardboard boxes work great in cabinets, and you'd be surprised what fits into a zip-lock bag.

Simple Home Organization

I'm certainly not an expert on clean and neat, but here are some tips to get you started:

• Find inspiration in books or magazines.
• Get motivated and begin.
• Commit to "finishing."
• Start with the busiest room in the house. Look around with new eyes. Start on one side of the room and work towards the middle, Sorting things in four baskets: Trash It, Put It Out of Sight, Daily Need, For Decoration

As you pick things up, think about their use and make a decision where to put it. Go slow but set time goals. The room may take more than one day, but stay with it.

Purchase a book on home organization. Remember your goal is to improve moods and watch it happen before your eyes. I bet you can't clean just one. Room, I mean. I'd love to hear about your results. Now, If you'll excuse me, I've got a mess to clean up.